I'm going hungry....

Week Eight:Water Fasting

I had quite a bit of difficulty deciding what I was going to do for this week’s installment. As I’ve mentioned, I have compiled an extensive list of new activities I hope to experience during this year but none of them seemed right at this time (I’m still looking for new ideas though, so please keep them coming). One problem is that many of my ideas are warm weather activities which are obviously not going to fly during January in Buffalo. Conversely, many of the wintertime or indoor activities on the list cost money and I was hoping to string together a few weeks of relatively cheap (or free) experiences, particularly after the new suits and snowboarding lesson. We are in a recession after all.

I finally settled on trying a 24-hour fast, or more specifically a water fast. I realize it’s not the most exciting adventure to share but it’s something I’ve wanted to try for some time and, once again, I just needed an excuse. At first, it seemed like it would be an interesting challenge just to see if I could go that long without eating, but that doesn’t make it a worthwhile activity for 52to30. However, as I looked into water fasting and learned about it’s benefits, I became motivated by it’s effectiveness in detoxifying the body as well as a weight loss aide (apparently giving it a benign name differentiates it from anorexia).

Now at the risk of sounding like a goofball the idea of body cleansing or detoxification is rather appealing to me. I mean, I’ve never gotten into drugs or heavy drinking but I’ve consumed a lot of garbage in my day and I feel like a proper cleansing would be a good way to release some of the bad stuff floating around in there. After all, everything I’ve read about the process claims water fasting is an easy and effective method for eliminating the toxins in your body that drain your energy and weaken your immune system. More energy and more health sound like good things to me, but how far am I willing to go.

Some body cleansing techniques necessitate fasts lasting as long as several weeks followed by a raw food diet, all while receiving regular enemas. Besides the extraordinary level of commitment (and discomfort) needed for such a drastic process it would also be rather pricey. And as previously stated, I’m trying to cut back here. Therefore, the water fast is an easy and effective way to detoxify your body without spending hundreds of dollars at a high-class spa.

Another motivator for trying a water fast is to help shed a few pounds. I have struggled with my weight for most of my life and while I’ve never considered myself obese, I’ve definitely never been skinny. Instead, I regularly fluctuate between the many levels of chubby depending on the season or my current habits. For instance, during the winter/spring of 2007, when the Sabres were dominating the NHL, I ballooned to my highest weight ever. Apparently having beer and nachos for dinner 3 nights a week is a bad thing. Who knew?

In the name of full disclosure I’ll provide the details. I’m 6’2” and a good weight for me is around 215lbs. However, around the time described above I hit 249 on the scale and promptly started running around Delaware Park. I just couldn’t handle the idea of actually hitting 250 so I busted my ass and got down to 220 by July. Thankfully, I’ve been hovering around that weight ever since but I’d still like to drop about 10 more. The lowest I’ve been since I can remember was 205 when I was 22 so as you can see, my weight can be quite the roller coaster. Therefore, maybe fasting once a month or so will be an effective way to keep myself ahead of the curve in this struggle.

After deciding on a 24-hour water fast, I decided to take it easy on myself and plan it during the week since there’s usually too much going on during the weekend and therefore more temptation to chow down. I ate dinner around 6pm on Tuesday evening and decided to start the clock when I was finished, approximately 6:30pm. Now, I’m not normally one for late night snacks - and desserts, though fun and delicious, are not a regular occurrence. Therefore, it must have been a mental issue that night because by 9:30 I was terribly hungry. I’m so nuts in that way, my mind just wraps itself around the one thing it shouldn’t and lingers away. Thankfully, I was able to resist by downing some delicious and fulfilling water, which satisfied my appetite until I went to bed (let it be stated, I actually love water and after coffee it’s my favorite beverage).

Unfortunately, waking up Wednesday morning I was starving. In fact, I think the anxiety of the impending challenge weighed heavily on me overnight causing a restless sleep, so waking up less than fresh and hungry should have been a sign of things to come. However, once again, I downed a large glass of water, along with my normal morning vitamin, and I was satiated. Going through my morning routine and getting to work were both relatively uneventful but the challenges quickly began to unfold.

Prior to this experience, I’ve never truly realized how prevalent food is in our society. All day long at work, as I am starving myself for science (or whatever it is I’m doing here), I’m surrounded by the constant sight and smell of delicious fare. Bagels glistening with butter, the scent of the most delectable leftovers every reheated and the microwave popcorn that apparently everyone in my office decided to make that day. It was just astounding. However, the most torturous sight of all were the Tim Horton’s cups scattered across seemingly every inch of the building. Caffeine addiction is a powerful thing and its withdrawals may have been the worst part of this whole experience.

Throughout the entire day, the effects of my complete lack of nourishment were painfully obvious. It felt like I was walking around in a fog. I could not concentrate, I was tired and my whole body felt sore and sluggish. I had no energy at all so aside from my usual daily work, I was mostly useless and all conversations and unnecessary movement were kept to a minimum. I guess this is what it feels like to be stoned, just barely above functional. Except it’s not nearly as funny as in the movies.

During this time I allowed myself plenty of water, one mug of green tea (self brewed with a tea bag so it’s acceptable) and I had to chew some gum to keep myself from going insane. I’m not sure whether that’s allowed but it was out of desperation. As the day dragged on I watched the clock move slowly towards the evening in anticipation of my freedom from this torture. I got out of work at 5:30 so I only had an hour to kill before I could end my suffering and enjoy dinner but things seemed much easier once the end was in sight.

Once the final minutes ticked away and I was able to dig in to some delicious lasagna things still didn’t feel quite right. I wasn’t able to eat as much as usual, which is both good and expected since my stomach undoubtedly shrank a bit after being empty for 24 hours. And although the meal was delicious, I think I was expecting to come to life like Popeye downing some spinach in time to save Olive Oil from impending doom. Unfortunately, I just felt even more tired. After dinner, Jackie and I lay down together to watch some television and I passed out within minutes. I woke up a few hours later to drive home and go to bed for real but I felt like garbage – headache, upset stomach, sore all over. Just terrible. I was a little worried that I may have completely thrown my body off and, as always happens when I get sick, I had the feeling I would never be well again. Thankfully, however, I woke the next day feeling better and, after a few cups of coffee, I was back to normal.

All of my research of water fasting said it was supposed to be an energizing and rejuvenating experience but I found it to have quite the opposite effect. While I’m sure some of my suffering was in fact related to caffeine withdrawal, I really don’t think fasting is effective for much of anything unless you’re Gandhi. Physically, I felt just as crappy and useless with no food as I do after drastically overeating. If I learned anything from this experience, besides that I love food, it’s the importance of moderation in diet. I felt good the day after my fast but I’m not sure if that was an effect of the process or just an improvement over the way I felt the previous day. There’s no telling for sure, but some how I feel unfulfilled. Perhaps later in the year, with more commitment and a little more money I’ll take the body cleansing idea a little further. We’ll see if I’m up for the discomfort.

POP CULTURE UPDATE
Listening to: Bruce Springsteen - Nebraska (Always the Boss. Don't forget to watch Sunday.)
Reading : Redemption Song: The Ballad of Joe Strummer
Recent Movie: Tropic Thunder (Pretty bad. Unbelievably over hyped.)

Coming down the mountain...

Week Seven:Snowboard

As most of you reading this already know, wintertime in Buffalo can be a formidable experience. The cold, gray weeks roll along endlessly and the daily struggle against Mother Nature feels insurmountable as you constantly shovel, scrape, trudge and slide your way through existence. It’s possible I’m being a bit overdramatic in my description but some days it truly feels that hopeless.
In this environment it’s difficult to muster the motivation and energy for every day activities such as work or school let alone independent hobbies and other pursuits. It’s easy to fall into social hibernation, as there is little incentive to endure the elements for anything but the most important commitments. Even fun winter activities like sledding or ice skating can be too much of a hassle due to the amount of preparation involved in getting ready so you actually stay warm. Then, when you’re finished, you have layers upon layers of wet clothes to deal with. Therefore, this existence can become a self-perpetuating cycle of boredom, depression and weight gain unless you make a strong, consistent effort to overcome the cold, damp, gray months of winter.
This week, in my effort to persevere over the trappings of this frigid mistress, I am learning to snowboard. It’s a little surprising that I’ve never gone snowboarding, considering the circumstances. In addition to living in an ideal locale, I’ve been a fan of “extreme” sports, particularly skateboarding, since I was about nine years old. Now, I’m reluctant to call myself a skater because, quite frankly, I’ve never been very good. Don’t get me wrong; I can easily travel from point A to point B, along a relatively smooth path, without incident. Just don’t expect any trickery along the way. Therefore, since balance isn’t the problem as much as skill or style, snowboarding might be right up my alley. Of course, nothing fancy will be attempted.
I’ve discussed snowboarding for years with different people, all with varying degrees of experience and ability, but it never came to fruition. It was just another thing I put off until another day, another year, another time. Of course, as one of our recurring themes here at fifty-two to thirty, despite all these conversations, I’ve never taken the opportunity. Therefore, since we’re here to take advantage of such missed opportunities, and I may as well make use of the winter weather in the process, this week’s adventure took me down the slippery slopes of snowboarding.
I have several friends who are relatively accomplished snowboarders that I could have called on for help in this scenario, but I didn’t want to be a bother. After all, I’m sure none of them want to be invited out to the slopes just to watch me bumble all over myself for a few hours. Instead I decided to pay a little extra (I have to rent equipment anyway) for an hour-long lesson. Joining me on this particular adventure was one of my closest friends, and fellow snowboarding novice, Nick.
I decided Kissing Bridge would be the site of our first foray into snowboarding because it’s the closest option as well as the least expensive for the lesson/rental combo. Nick met me after I got out of work and the two of us headed down route 240 towards our destination. Upon our arrival we were quickly set up with our passes and told where to get our gear and meet our instructor. Naturally, however, since we were about a half hour early we decided to settle our nerves a bit with a drink at the bar.
After a small dose of liquid courage we went to the rental building and gathered our necessary gear – boots, bindings and boards. We then waited by our designated area for about 15 minutes before realizing the punk kid in the rental shop pointed us in the wrong direction. Way to go bra! Upon this realization we hurried to the area with several other clueless snowboarders intently eyeing up a man in a red coat – the official Kissing Bridge instructor coat, as we learned. I interrupted the lesson to confirm this is where we were supposed to be and the instructor, Len, was reluctantly sympathetic and agreed to catch us up to the group.
Besides Nick and myself, the group consisted of three other people, two girls and boy, anywhere between 15 and 19. Thankfully, however, Len was an older gentleman, probably mid forties and he was pretty solid. The last thing I needed was some duder treating me like some chump. Admittedly, I don’t have much shame so I have no problem making a fool of myself. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to put up with some young punk thinking he’s all sweet at my expense.
Earlier in the day, Nick and myself were toying with the idea of bypassing the lesson and just “winging it.” As soon as I strapped that board on, I was very thankful we decided to stick with the lesson. Snowboarding is definitely not as easy at it looks. Len had us start off about a quarter of the way up the hill and just cruise straight to the bottom with our back foot resting on the board instead of strapped into the binding. Mind you, this is the bunny hill, so it doesn’t look intimidating from the top let alone this distance. Much to my surprise, however, it was quite the challenge. Slowly we added turns and stopping (both feet in at this point) and Len finished off by showing us the “falling leaf” technique of turning all the way to the left and coming back to the right facing the opposite direction. I got high marks in the class on this activity but Len quickly humbled me by adding, “but you only made one and half.” I’ll take what I can get.
At this point the lesson was over and we were left to keep going on our own. From what I’d experienced to this point, however, I had no intentions of leaving the bunny hill (Candy Cane Lane for those of you keeping score at home. Very intimidating!) Unfortunately, this hill is not large enough to warrant it’s own lift and instead has a towline that you have to hold on to as it pulls you up. Let me tell you, this thing sucks. Seriously, the effort you put into getting up the hill is way more exhaustive than actually coming down and I won’t even get into the children I knocked down just trying to hold on.
After a couple of runs from the halfway point I decided to take it from the top. My first few attempts from the top of the hill were more like three smaller runs as I’d get about a third of the way and fall, usually on my right butt cheek, and have to get back up to continue. But just standing up on the board is a challenge so I appreciated the practice. By about my fourth run I was finally starting to get some momentum, and that falling leaf thing was very helpful. One of those times, however, as I reached the bottom of the hill my skateboard instincts kicked in and trying to kick turn, I landed right on my face. That was fun.
Meanwhile, Nick was have a little more difficulty shaking the skateboard impulse and seemed to be having more difficulty than myself (Sorry Nick, it’s my blog, I get to brag a bit). At one point, he looked like he was going to quit on me but I convinced him to give it a few more tries. I’m glad he did, Nick’s a good sport.
My second to last run was by far my best. I only had one minor hiccup on the way down, had a nice technique all the way and a sweet hockey stop right back at the towline. I was pumped so I decided to hop right back on. Once again, however, that damn line just killed me and I was exhausted by the time I reached the top. This run was definitely not successful as I was able to land on both cheeks in consecutive falls about fifteen seconds apart. I kind of limped to the bottom and we decided to call it quits. To finish the adventure off in style, we hit the bar again; we earned it.
I had an incredible time snowboarding. I would really love to give it another try before winter is over but it is a very expensive hobby. I don’t need another lesson, maybe just one of those friends I mentioned earlier to show me the ropes. I would, however, still need to rent the equipment. So if anyone out there wants to hit the slopes, maybe teach an eager pup a few tricks and even lend some spare equipment, give me a holler. Until then, I’ll be cleaning up all these wet clothes.

POP CULTURE UPDATE
Listening to : Ryan Adams – Cold Roses
Reading : Too Fat to Fish by Artie Lange
Recent Movie: 3:10 to Yuma

Now we're cooking...

Week Six:Make Dinner(s)

I have never prepared a full meal in my entire life. I realize this sounds a little strange but to a point it’s true. To be totally honest, on those rare occasions when I’m forced to fend for myself I don’t go to bed hungry. I can always fall back on heating up some Chunky soup or just boiling noodles and adding sauce. Mighty Taco is also a reliable option when I’m feeling particularly lazy. However, in terms of a fully prepared meal, consisting of several ingredients added together at various times depending on temperature - that has never happened.

I’ve always liked the idea of preparing an impressive meal or at least having the ability to do so. I have no desire of becoming a master chef and I’m not the type that regularly watches the Food Network - at least not voluntarily. But as a man, I think it’s important to be able to hold your own in the kitchen for various reasons.

First, in terms of health and economics, a home-cooked meal is almost always a better choice than dining out. I think I can speak for all of us when I say we should be saving both money and calories any chance we can get. Second, it’s a sure fire way to impress the ladies when you invite them over to your place for dinner and drinks. I imagine a man that knows how to handle himself in the kitchen would be appealing to any woman. Similarly, for all you guys that are already married or otherwise attached (myself included), at the very least you can give your special lady a break and make dinner once in a while. Trust me, she’ll be blown away and it could yield some pretty nice dividends.

In addition to the benefits involved, preparing a complicated dish seems like it would be a lot fun. As a fan of Harry Potter, I always liken it to Potions class at Hogwarts (stay with me here). You have to be very precise in preparing all the ingredients and combining them at exactly the right time for the recipe to be successful. Then, with each experience, you learn little tricks and try different combinations to enhance the potency of various flavors and personalize your “potions.” Forgive my nerdiness but I think it’s a pretty effective analogy. Maybe I should have said I was a scientist in a lab or something but I’m just being honest.

Now, the most obvious explanation for my personal lack of culinary experience is that I’ve been spoiled. Growing up my mother always had a decent dinner prepared. Every night she had a main dish with a couple of sides and the whole family would sit together to eat dinner. I know this might seem like quite a task, especially with five kids to feed, but she always made it happen. Even when my brothers and I were into our teens and it was such a hassle to make it home at a specified time for dinner, we could always depend on Mom to have a delicious meal waiting at home. Despite the hassle, we made it more often than not.

More recently I’ve come to rely on Jackie in much the same way. When I get out of work every night, dinner is almost ready and I just have to help Jackie with plates, drinks and maybe putting together a salad. For the most part, however, she’s already taken care of the real work involved and I just show up in time to enjoy the meal. Very manly, right? But don’t think for a second that I don’t realize how pathetic this all sounds. I mean a grown man should have some sort of ability to prepare a real meal.

Therefore, my adventure this week is more than a just a one time deal. Instead, as a means of diversifying the experience and learning as much as I can, I will be preparing dinner for several people over the course of five days. The participants in this adventure are myself, Jackie, my parents and my younger sister Jennifer, when she feels like joining us. Of course, when she decides at the last minute, I finally realize how my mother felt all those times I couldn’t give her a straight answer on whether or not I’d be home for dinner.

Weeks of research provided five vastly different recipes spanning various points on the culinary spectrum, but all relatively healthy options. Naturally I had to have some pizza, a chicken dish and since it’s so damn cold, a nice hearty soup. Also, I have to thank Michael of Nickel City Brewing fame for introducing me to the Chipotle Bacon Mac n’ Cheese recipe. My menu for the week, along with a brief description of each experience, is listed below.

Bon appetit!

Sunday – Sweet and Sour Meatloaf with Oven-Roasted Potato Wedges

This was moderately simple dish to prepare with impressive results. It’s a turkey meatloaf with a homemade sweet and sour glaze on top. Very tasty and it’s easy to just combine a bunch of ingredients and throw them in the oven. Besides cutting the potatoes, the most difficult part of this meal was dodging the avalanche of pots and pans pouring from all of my mother’s cupboards.

Monday – Chicken Milano with a Side Salad

Holy Crap! Preparing chicken from scratch is such a pain in the ass! Ok, not totally from scratch. No beheading or plucking but I can’t imagine that being much more difficult than wrestling with slimy, raw chicken to cut off all the fatty and otherwise gross pieces. But I digress. Besides the chicken this process was relatively smooth. Pieces of chicken breast in a delicious tomato sauce made with garlic, onion, mushroom and various spices served over brown rice. This ended up being worth the hassle of cutting up the chicken. But just barely.

Tuesday – Black and Blue Steak Pizza

This recipe was originally supposed to be made with Roquefort cheese but after realizing how outrageously expensive that stuff is we had to improvise (Jackie helped). We were left with a delicious steak, mozzarella and bleu cheese pizza with a homemade onion marmalade sauce. It was pretty fantastic. Plus after Monday’s preparation this recipe was a breeze.

Wednesday – Chipotle Bacon Mac n’ Cheese

This dish was totally mindblowing! A homemade macaroni and cheese bake with cheddar and bleu cheese baked in and an incredible sauce made with Velveeta, onions, garlic, milk and chipotle peppers. Words can’t describe how delicious this was. Just invite me to a party and ask me to bring it along.

Thursday – Caramelized Onion and Sweet Potato Soup

I knew things were turning out a little too well. This was my only real misstep through the whole experience. The soup wasn’t bad it was just a little too sweet. Also, the original recipe left me with a bunch of onions and sweet potato cubes floating in chicken broth, so I pureed it for a much smoother consistency. After all, I like the taste of onions but I’m not wild about them in their natural form due to their resemblance to tapeworms. If I were to make this dish again I would cut out the added sugar as the sweet potatoes and onions provide enough sweetness. Decent but not great.

Final Assessment – This was an exhaustively satisfying experience. As we sat down to enjoy each meal I couldn’t help but feel a sense of accomplishment, especially since they all looked so fantastic (presentation is very important!). However, the actual preparation of each meal continually fluctuated between enjoyment and frustration. The worst part of the whole experience was the preparation of all the ingredients. I never realized how long it takes to cut, chop, dice, clove, cleave, etc, etc. Since I wasn’t expecting this process to be so challenging I grossly underestimated the amount of time I would need for each meal. I just need more experience to be able to accomplish these tasks with a little more speed and, consequently, less frustration.

However, once that stuff was out of the way, the mixing, stirring and combining of everything was actually pretty fun, just seeing the dish really start to take shape, both literally and figuratively. Then when the final product is in front of you and it looks and smells delicious, it’s an awesome feeling. But I’d have to say the most rewarding part of all was the knowledge that people were enjoying the fruits of my labor. Appreciation is always nice.

After this whole experience, I don’t expect to be the primary chef in the family. I mean, it was a definite success and I was able to avoid any major disasters, but you don’t make Frank Reich the starter just because he won a few games - especially when Jim Kelly is on the sideline, healthy and ready to go. Overall though, I’m happy just knowing that I’m capable of preparing a full, delicious meal and I look forward to trying new recipes in the future. I had no idea learning basic life skills could be so enjoyable.

* Please feel free to contact me if you’re interested in any of the recipes.

LISTENING TO : Pearl Jam (Favorite band since '92. Holding strong!)

READING : Too Fat to Fish by Artie Lange

RECENT MOVIE : Pineapple Express (Way better than I expected. Belly laughs throughout. I’ve never smoked weed in my life but I love weed humor. Go figure)

Every girl's crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man...

Week Five:Buy a Suit

The purpose of this entire adventure has been clearly stated as doing one thing every week between my 29^th and 30^th birthdays that I’ve never tried before. Hence the name fifty-two to thirty. Each week I choose one new activity based on two basic criteria, it’s something I’ve never done and it serves some constructive purpose. Most of what I have planned, and what I’ve accomplished so far, has been for the purpose of self-enlightenment. For the most part, they’re fun things I’ve always wanted to try but for whatever reason I haven’t. And when I say ‘self-enlightenment’ I’m talking about exposing myself to more experiences thus enriching my life. Remember, I don’t take my self very seriously so this is more of a selfish motivational tool than a spiritual journey.

However, this week is a little different. While I have wanted to buy a suit for some time, I feel like it’s something I need to do at this point in my life. After all, I’m a grown man fast approaching thirty and as it’s often said, every man should own at least one suit. The realization slowly dawned over many weddings, job interviews and various other formal events that I was one of the few remaining men without a proper suit. The shirt and tie with khakis can only work for so long before you start to look a little juvenile.

Of course, the emphasis here is on the word ‘formal.’ Thankfully, my current job does not necessitate wearing a suit (God bless business casual). Even when I was teaching, my forgotten and unfulfilled career of choice, I sported the daily shirt and tie. Therefore, by owning a suit, special events carry more meaning because I can get myself fancied up without feeling like I’m getting ready for work. And we all like to feel fancy once in a while, right?

Now, buying a suit was not originally on my list of things to accomplish this year. However, my incredibly perceptive girlfriend Jackie realized my desire to own one and for my birthday she surprised me with a check to be used towards the purchase my first suit (she referred to it as my “birthday suit” but that’s a story for another day). So when I decided to put this money to use I thought to myself, ‘Hey, this is a constructive activity I’ve never done before.’ And that is what we call coming full circle.

I began the suit buying process with some research so I knew what I was getting myself into. After all, even an amateur like myself can spot the difference between a quality suit and a cheap knock off. So if I’m going to make this investment count, I have to ensure I’m getting my money’s worth. Likewise, however, there’s no justifiable reason for me to break the bank on a suit I’ll only wear a few times a year. Therefore, appealing to my general sensibility, I set out to find the perfect combination of quality and value.

My research began by determining the choices available for the standard features of the modern men’s suit. While some of these things later seemed obvious, I wanted to start as basic as possible. The picture quickly came into focus: 100% wool, single-breasted, dark color, nothing too trendy or flashy. Call it conservative if you like, but I’ll say I’m going classic. The last thing I want is for anyone to confuse me with Don Cherry.

Next, however, was a more difficult decision: 2-button or 3-buttons? Much of what I read stated the 3-button was the current trend while being traditional enough to maintain relevance through the years. However, I decided to consult with a few experts. After Googling pictures of such standard awesome dudes as Brad Pitt, David Beckham and Daniel Craig (my favorite James Bond), I decided the 2-button was the way to go. Not only is it the choice of fashionable males like these but it’s also a much sleeker and classier look in my opinion.

After choosing these basic features, I had to determine where I would do my shopping. Again, in the name of quality and value, I knew I wasn’t visiting any custom tailors but I also wasn’t picking it off the rack at K-Mart. Therefore, I chose to keep it easy and check out some of the mid-range men’s shops. With a little more research, including recommendations from friends, I decided Men’s Warehouse was going to be the place.

Jackie accompanied me on this adventure, which was great because she’s an excellent bargain shopper and I need all the help I can get when dealing with salespeople. Walking in we were greeted by Pete and he was definitely not the shady grease ball I was expecting. In fact, he was a pretty average guy that seemed rather laid back and open if not nervous.

I broke down the whole situation to Pete, explaining why I was buying a suit and emphasizing how I’d like to keep it simple. I told him the style I was looking for, the colors I preferred and even my price range. Based on this information he quickly pulled a number of different suits for us to check out. It’s amazing how easy things can be when you do your homework. (See kids, all that research pays off in the end!) Pete also informed us of the current ‘buy one get one free’ sale they were having.

First, I tried on a few navy coats but that only confirmed my thoughts of avoiding a blue suit. They keep telling me it’s classic but all I see is old man. Next were a few darker blazers with various checks and pinstripes. While these were decent they were a little too loud for my tasted. Particularly the “window pane” style, which is much more Bernie Mac than Johnny Cash and that is not the direction I want to take.

Finally, I was able to narrow my choices down to the two suits I liked best. The first is a 2-button, black with very subtle pinstripes. This one was a slam-dunk even though it was on the higher end of the price range. The second, which in the name of value is the same price, is a nice, 2-button, dark charcoal. Both suits are slim-fitting and very comfortable with a sleek and classic look.

Some of the similar options, though a little cheaper, did not fit as well either visually or in comfort level. Also, as a point of reference, I imagined how each coat would look with a pair of jeans in a more casual setting. The two suits I chose were superior in every category, except maybe price. But I guess it’s true that you get what you pay for and overall I’m really excited about the suits I ultimately chose. Right now, however, my main concern is finding an excuse to wear them. See you on the dance floor.

POP - CULTURE UPDATE

LISTENING TO : Gaslight Anthem (Andy’s idea)

READING : Moby Dick (Still)

RECENT MOVIE: Downfall (Intense enough to make you feel sorry for Nazis)

Take one down, pass it around...

Week Four:Home Brewing

I’ve always liked the idea of the wine connoisseur. Not so much the snooty, fancy pants personality but just learning the different styles and subtle nuances of wine’s many varieties. I want to use words like bouquet, undertones and texture while knowing which wine pairs well with certain foods or which to serve based on season or occasion. Basically, it’s the idea of having a hobby that allows you to learn and explore the many complexities of something you really enjoy while getting drunk at the same time. Sounds perfect, right?

Unfortunately, there is one minor flaw in my plan to become a wine connoisseur. I can’t stand the taste. To my palette, most wines have a musty, dry flavor that I could best liken to the smell of old people. When I go to a liquor store I’m like a kid in a candy shop, fascinated by all the varieties with their fancy names and colorful labels. But the only wines I ever like are the $2 a bottle, ghetto wines that taste more like Kool-Aid. I know there are plenty of wine lovers hating me right now, but I can’t help the way my taste buds have developed.

Beer on the other hand is a beverage I can get behind. Even as a kid, stealing sips out of random cans at family parties, I’ve always loved the taste of beer. Unlike wine, however, I prefer the finer varieties of beer. Therefore, the recent explosion of microbreweries and specialty beers is a lot of fun for me. I love trying new brands and different varieties or seasonals when they are introduced. I’m not sophisticated enough to write up descriptions of different brews with all the associated jargon as previously mentioned, however. I just love the taste of beer and truly enjoy sampling the many available and emerging varieties.

Enter my friend and coworker Michael. Until recently, Michael and I sat next to each other at work and we’ve always gotten along thanks to our similar levels of nerdiness. Whether discussing sports, comic books, movies or television shows our level of obscure and otherwise useless knowledge is just astounding. In addition to such nerdy pursuits, Michael recently immersed himself in the art of home brewing and once again our interests were aligned. Realizing this would make an excellent addition to my list, Michael agreed to be my brewing mentor and a date was set.

Michael and his brewing partner have been working on developing their own recipes for several months. Their experimenting has led to some early accomplishments and they have formed a start up company known as Nickel City Brewing (http://nickelcitybrewing.wordpress.com/). Although still in the preliminary stages, I have sampled several of their varieties and am confident they will have success in the future. Not only can they make a delicious beer but the clever, locally inspired names never fail to entertain. Among my favorites are the Burbage Irish Red and the Courier Express Lager.

I arrived at Michael’s apartment last Saturday afternoon to begin my latest adventure. Unfortunately, his regular brewing partner was unable to join us for this session. Upon my arrival Michael was in the process of cleaning and arranging the necessary implements for our day’s work. Among these tools of the trade were a large black kettle, a 5-gallon plastic bucket, a medium-sized steel bowl and some coiled copper tubing. Michael then gave me an introductory tour of the beer room which included numerous jars with different varieties of grain as well as several more buckets and a water cooler filled with assorted brews in various stages of fermentation.

The brewing process began by deciding the type of beer we would brew. Our choice for this batch was oatmeal stout (Ebenezer 1789, named after Buffalo’s first mayor). Stouts are my favorite variety of beer and having previously sampled some of Nickel City’s version I was very excited to be part of the process. The first step was to measure the correct amount of the different varieties of grains necessary for the oatmeal stout, including some delicious smelling chocolate grains. Next, Michael began filling the large kettle with 5 gallons of filtered water while I used a coffee grinder to refine the necessary grains and mix them together with some dry oatmeal. I can’t reveal the exact grains or measurements of each because I would hate to expose Michael’s secret recipe. Also, I honestly can’t remember, I was just following his lead.

This mixture was then poured into a mesh bag that looks and acts like a large tea bag. After bringing the water up to the appropriate temperature the “tea bag” was dropped into the kettle where it had to stew for an hour. We used this time to clean up some of the mess we had already made (which was surprisingly a lot) and I promptly spilled a large amount of water on Michael’s kitchen floor. More work for me.

When this hour was up we removed the “tea bag” and were left with a lovely concoction known as wort. After adding some hops and malt extract, the wort is then brought to a boil, which must be maintained for another hour. There’s definitely a lot of down time when making beer but I used most of it to badger Michael with my endless questions of the brewing process. I’m no expert at this point, but I make relatively competent apprentice.

Now the next step of the brewing process involves some very exciting thermodynamics! After boiling for an hour, the aforementioned copper tubing is connected to the sink and cold water is pumped through it so the wort can quickly cool. Once it reaches approximately 80 degrees yeast is added and the wort is transferred to the 5-gallon bucket. After the incident with the water, Michael decided to do the pouring while I held the bucket. This was probably for the best. The bucket is then tightly sealed and a fancy little tuber is inserted in a hole in the lid to help release the carbon while keeping the oxygen out. (Note: Please forgive me if I’m getting any of these terms or processes wrong. I was an average-at-best Science student in high school and this post is definitely not meant to serve as a “How-to” on home brewing.)

While most of the manual labor is finished the brewing process is far from over. What comes next is, of course, more waiting. Brewing is all about patience and attention to detail, neither of which are my forte, but I digress. After two weeks of fermenting in the bucket or “primary storage”, the brew will be transferred to the water cooler. Another 10 days or so in this “secondary storage” and the beer can be bottled. However, these bottles will then have to sit a bit longer before they will be fully carbonated and ready to enjoy. I will be sure to post updates as the process continues and if you’re lucky, maybe I’ll share some of my delicious, little brew child. In the meantime, however, I highly recommend you check out Nickel City Brewing. They really are doing a fantastic job and if you’re a beer lover, you should take any available opportunity to sample their wares. http://nickelcitybrewing.wordpress.com/