Coming down the mountain...

Week Seven:Snowboard

As most of you reading this already know, wintertime in Buffalo can be a formidable experience. The cold, gray weeks roll along endlessly and the daily struggle against Mother Nature feels insurmountable as you constantly shovel, scrape, trudge and slide your way through existence. It’s possible I’m being a bit overdramatic in my description but some days it truly feels that hopeless.
In this environment it’s difficult to muster the motivation and energy for every day activities such as work or school let alone independent hobbies and other pursuits. It’s easy to fall into social hibernation, as there is little incentive to endure the elements for anything but the most important commitments. Even fun winter activities like sledding or ice skating can be too much of a hassle due to the amount of preparation involved in getting ready so you actually stay warm. Then, when you’re finished, you have layers upon layers of wet clothes to deal with. Therefore, this existence can become a self-perpetuating cycle of boredom, depression and weight gain unless you make a strong, consistent effort to overcome the cold, damp, gray months of winter.
This week, in my effort to persevere over the trappings of this frigid mistress, I am learning to snowboard. It’s a little surprising that I’ve never gone snowboarding, considering the circumstances. In addition to living in an ideal locale, I’ve been a fan of “extreme” sports, particularly skateboarding, since I was about nine years old. Now, I’m reluctant to call myself a skater because, quite frankly, I’ve never been very good. Don’t get me wrong; I can easily travel from point A to point B, along a relatively smooth path, without incident. Just don’t expect any trickery along the way. Therefore, since balance isn’t the problem as much as skill or style, snowboarding might be right up my alley. Of course, nothing fancy will be attempted.
I’ve discussed snowboarding for years with different people, all with varying degrees of experience and ability, but it never came to fruition. It was just another thing I put off until another day, another year, another time. Of course, as one of our recurring themes here at fifty-two to thirty, despite all these conversations, I’ve never taken the opportunity. Therefore, since we’re here to take advantage of such missed opportunities, and I may as well make use of the winter weather in the process, this week’s adventure took me down the slippery slopes of snowboarding.
I have several friends who are relatively accomplished snowboarders that I could have called on for help in this scenario, but I didn’t want to be a bother. After all, I’m sure none of them want to be invited out to the slopes just to watch me bumble all over myself for a few hours. Instead I decided to pay a little extra (I have to rent equipment anyway) for an hour-long lesson. Joining me on this particular adventure was one of my closest friends, and fellow snowboarding novice, Nick.
I decided Kissing Bridge would be the site of our first foray into snowboarding because it’s the closest option as well as the least expensive for the lesson/rental combo. Nick met me after I got out of work and the two of us headed down route 240 towards our destination. Upon our arrival we were quickly set up with our passes and told where to get our gear and meet our instructor. Naturally, however, since we were about a half hour early we decided to settle our nerves a bit with a drink at the bar.
After a small dose of liquid courage we went to the rental building and gathered our necessary gear – boots, bindings and boards. We then waited by our designated area for about 15 minutes before realizing the punk kid in the rental shop pointed us in the wrong direction. Way to go bra! Upon this realization we hurried to the area with several other clueless snowboarders intently eyeing up a man in a red coat – the official Kissing Bridge instructor coat, as we learned. I interrupted the lesson to confirm this is where we were supposed to be and the instructor, Len, was reluctantly sympathetic and agreed to catch us up to the group.
Besides Nick and myself, the group consisted of three other people, two girls and boy, anywhere between 15 and 19. Thankfully, however, Len was an older gentleman, probably mid forties and he was pretty solid. The last thing I needed was some duder treating me like some chump. Admittedly, I don’t have much shame so I have no problem making a fool of myself. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to put up with some young punk thinking he’s all sweet at my expense.
Earlier in the day, Nick and myself were toying with the idea of bypassing the lesson and just “winging it.” As soon as I strapped that board on, I was very thankful we decided to stick with the lesson. Snowboarding is definitely not as easy at it looks. Len had us start off about a quarter of the way up the hill and just cruise straight to the bottom with our back foot resting on the board instead of strapped into the binding. Mind you, this is the bunny hill, so it doesn’t look intimidating from the top let alone this distance. Much to my surprise, however, it was quite the challenge. Slowly we added turns and stopping (both feet in at this point) and Len finished off by showing us the “falling leaf” technique of turning all the way to the left and coming back to the right facing the opposite direction. I got high marks in the class on this activity but Len quickly humbled me by adding, “but you only made one and half.” I’ll take what I can get.
At this point the lesson was over and we were left to keep going on our own. From what I’d experienced to this point, however, I had no intentions of leaving the bunny hill (Candy Cane Lane for those of you keeping score at home. Very intimidating!) Unfortunately, this hill is not large enough to warrant it’s own lift and instead has a towline that you have to hold on to as it pulls you up. Let me tell you, this thing sucks. Seriously, the effort you put into getting up the hill is way more exhaustive than actually coming down and I won’t even get into the children I knocked down just trying to hold on.
After a couple of runs from the halfway point I decided to take it from the top. My first few attempts from the top of the hill were more like three smaller runs as I’d get about a third of the way and fall, usually on my right butt cheek, and have to get back up to continue. But just standing up on the board is a challenge so I appreciated the practice. By about my fourth run I was finally starting to get some momentum, and that falling leaf thing was very helpful. One of those times, however, as I reached the bottom of the hill my skateboard instincts kicked in and trying to kick turn, I landed right on my face. That was fun.
Meanwhile, Nick was have a little more difficulty shaking the skateboard impulse and seemed to be having more difficulty than myself (Sorry Nick, it’s my blog, I get to brag a bit). At one point, he looked like he was going to quit on me but I convinced him to give it a few more tries. I’m glad he did, Nick’s a good sport.
My second to last run was by far my best. I only had one minor hiccup on the way down, had a nice technique all the way and a sweet hockey stop right back at the towline. I was pumped so I decided to hop right back on. Once again, however, that damn line just killed me and I was exhausted by the time I reached the top. This run was definitely not successful as I was able to land on both cheeks in consecutive falls about fifteen seconds apart. I kind of limped to the bottom and we decided to call it quits. To finish the adventure off in style, we hit the bar again; we earned it.
I had an incredible time snowboarding. I would really love to give it another try before winter is over but it is a very expensive hobby. I don’t need another lesson, maybe just one of those friends I mentioned earlier to show me the ropes. I would, however, still need to rent the equipment. So if anyone out there wants to hit the slopes, maybe teach an eager pup a few tricks and even lend some spare equipment, give me a holler. Until then, I’ll be cleaning up all these wet clothes.

POP CULTURE UPDATE
Listening to : Ryan Adams – Cold Roses
Reading : Too Fat to Fish by Artie Lange
Recent Movie: 3:10 to Yuma